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英语阅读:纪念生命中的过客

作者:stephen    文章来源:方向标英语网    点击数:    更新时间:2010-1-19 【我来说两句

When he told me he was leaving I felt like a vase which has just smashed. There were pieces of me all over the tidy, tan tiles. He kept talking, telling me why he was leaving, explaining it was for the best, I could do better, it was his fault and not mine. I had heard it before many times and yet somehow was still not immune; perhaps one did not become immune to such felony.

He left and I tried to get on with my life. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil, I took out my old red mug and filled it with coffee watching as each coffee granule slipped in to the bone china. That was what my life had been like, endless omissions of coffee granules, somehow never managing to make that cup of coffee.


Somehow when the kettle piped its finishing warning I pretended not to hear it. That's what Mike's leaving had been like, sudden and with an awful finality. I would rather just wallow in uncertainty than have things finished. I laughed at myself. Imagine getting all philosophical and sentimental about a mug of coffee. I must be getting old.


And yet it was a young woman who stared back at me from the mirror. A young woman full of promise and hope, a young woman with bright eyes and full lips just waiting to take on the world. I never loved Mike anyway. Besides there are more important things. More important than love, I insist to myself firmly. The lid goes back on the coffee just like closure on the whole Mike experience.


He doesn't haunt my dreams as I feared that night. Instead I am flying far across fields and woods, looking down on those below me. Suddenly I fall to the ground and it is only when I wake up that I realize I was shot by a hunter, brought down by the burden of not the bullet but the soul of the man who shot it. I realize later, with some degree of understanding, that Mike was the hunter holding me down and I am the bird that longs to fly. The next night my dream is similar to the previous nights, but without the hunter. I fly free until I meet another bird who flies with me in perfect harmony. I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me, there is another person, not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend, but there is someone out there who is my soul mate. I think about being a broken vase again and realize that I have glued myself back together, what Mike has is merely a little part of my time in earth, a little understanding of my physical being. He has only, a little piece of me.


当迈克告诉我他要离我而去的时候,我感觉自己就像打碎了的花瓶一样。在淡褐色的小瓷砖上面化成无数的碎片。他不停的说着话,告诉我为何要离我而去,解释说是为了我着想,我应该能找到更好的,他离开我是他的不是,而不是应该归咎于我。我曾无数次听过他说这样的话而且对此已经不当回事了;也许有人会把男人这样始乱终弃的行为当回事。


他离开后,我尝试着自己一人去过活。我给水壶装满了水后就放到炉火上等着它烧开。我拿出了那件夕日曾用过的红色杯子,然后倒上咖啡,看着那许多咖啡碎末粒掉进骨瓷杯中。这就像我过去的人生一样,太多未曾被注意到的小颗粒中,不知怎么的,就冲成了那一杯咖啡。


当水壶烧开鸣笛示警的时候,我假装没有听到它忽忽的声

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