搞笑中国式英语

go and look! 走着瞧
good good study,day day up 好好学习，天天向上　
no mao ze dong ,no new china, 没有毛泽东，没有新中国　
go a head! 去个头！　
people mountain people sea 人山人海　
no three no four 不三不四　
u ask me,i ask who? 你问我，我问谁？　
if you old three old four,i will give you color see see 如果你老三老四，我就给你点颜色看看
dog day’s 狗日的
poor light egg 穷光蛋
do early f**k 做早操　
go to your mother 去你md　
full clear ten big cool punishment 满清十大酷刑
after i do something! aids爱滋病！　
day day do morning f**k! 天天做早操
i saw a man saw a saw with a saw~~~~ 我看到一个男人拿一把锯子在锯一把锯子
kill one police hundred 杀一警百
give you* **ce,you don’t sport! 给你脸，你不会运用！
fat head fish 胖头鱼
gold basih washes my hands! 金盆洗手
you me you me 彼此彼此
f**k do system. 操作系统
horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎
where cool where you stay!! 哪儿凉快哪儿呆着　
you give me stop!! 你给我站住！！
fish yes 于（鱼）是
see you tomorrow 谁又偷猫肉
sir, you going down? 先生，你够淫荡　
know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知
we are brother，who and who？ 咱哥俩谁跟谁啊
eyes keep healthy f**k 眼保健操
横knife夺love。
king eight egg 王八蛋
let’s go shopping 赖雌勾哨兵
5 talks, 4 beauties & 3 loves五讲四美三热爱
you ask me, i ask who 你问我，我问谁啊
look through autumn water! 望穿秋水　
why?　为什么
no why!　不为什么
why no why?　为什么不为什么
no why no why!　不为什么不为什么
you have painting hurry say, you have ass hurry fart! 有话快说，有屁快放！
how are you？怎么是你？　
how old are you？怎么老是你？
f**k do computer！操作电脑
watch sister 表妹
blue whose and whose 不入虎穴，焉得虎子
ice snow clever 冰雪聪明
blake new new 黑猩猩
save water. shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡
love the neighbor. but don’t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道
"your future depends on your dreams." so go to sleep. “现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。
"hard work never killed anybody." but why take the risk? “努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。
"work fascinates me." i can look at it for hours! " “工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看着别人工作。
the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？！
no matter three seven tweenty-one. 不管三七二十一
try try see 试试看
hit fire machine 打火机
一位学生在美国加州目睹了一起交通事故，由于好奇，一直没有离开，警察来了以后问他知不知道事情的经过。he said ：one car come one car go　
two car peng peng one man die　

一个小强去看电影，到了电影售票处，发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天，就自告奋勇的上前做翻译，售票小姐说：麻烦你告诉她，现在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站着看。　
小强转头就对老外说：no sit see,stand see. if see stand see.　
老外回答说：sorry i don’t understand your english.　
小强就对售票小姐说：哦，他说他不懂英文 

1． we two who and who？

咱俩谁跟谁阿

2． how are you ? how old are you?

怎么是你，怎么老是你？

3． you don't bird me,I don't bird you

你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

4． you have seed I will give you some color to see see,
brothers ！together

你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

5． hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you
have nothing to say,go home!!

有事起奏，无事退朝

6．what is IMU3.0? it is a kind of chat tool!

什么是IMU3。0？IMU3.0 是一种聊天工具！

7． You Give Me Stop!!

你给我站住！

8． know is know noknow is noknow

知之为知之，不知为不知…

9． WATCH SISTER

表妹

10． IMU3。0 both can do what???

IMU上直接查找和添加QQ、MSN好友。在2.6版本中，IMU虽然兼容了QQ和MSN，但
纯粹是把QQ、MSN的用户群绑定在IMU界面上，既不能添加好友也不能互发文件，造
成许多不便。现在，3.0终于做到了完全兼容，以后只要打开IMU3.0，所有聊天工具
一网打尽。

11． American Chinese not enough

美中不足

13． heart flower angry open

心花怒放

14． go past no mistake past

走过路过，不要错过

15． 小明：I am sorry!

       老外：I am sorry too!

      小明：I am sorry three!

      老外：What are you sorry for?

      小明：I am sorry five!

16． If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!

要钱没有，要命一条

17． I call Li old big. toyear 25.

我叫李老大，今年25。

18． you have two down son。

你有两下子。

19． as far as you go to die

有多远，死多远！！！！

20． I give you face you don't want face,you lose you face ,I
turn my face.

给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸