英语阅读文章：How to Complain and Get Results

When Jan Schwoyer of Allentown, Pa., learned that her 15-year-old son had been given an in-school suspension, she was upset. After she finally got him to tell his side of the story, she was livid. "The kid sitting behind me hit the girl in front of me," her son explained, "and the girl turned and yelled at me." When Schwoyer asked her son why he hadn't told this to the assistant principal who handed out the suspension, she came up against adolescent ethics. "I won't rat," said the boy.

Determined to right the wrong, Schwoyer phoned the assistant principal, calmly told him what her son had said, and asked if he had any proof that her boy had hit the girl. The assistant principal immediately began screaming as if Schwoyer were a kid who'd cut class.

Shocked, Schwoyer simply asked, "Why are you so angry at me?" That stopped the tirade cold. The assistant principal calmed down, and they resolved the problem.

Jan Schwoyer discovered that in a difficult situation, it's possible to get results without becoming pushy or loud. Indeed, effective complaining is a skill anyone can master. All you need is determination and an understanding of these simple rules:

Be Prepared. You have a better chance of winning a case if you're an expert on your situation. That doesn't mean you must cite Supreme Court decisions, but you do need to be prepared with names, dates, prices or times that relate to your complaint.

When an airline failed to award Lillian Sims of Milwaukee all the frequent-filer miles she'd earned on an extended foreign trip because of an obscure provision, she tracked down the supervisor of the frequent-filer program. "She asked me to send her all the information," Sims recalls. "I had everything she needed, and after reviewing it, she awarded me the right number of miles."

Face the Issue. Letters can be ignored, and your opponent can be unreasonable over the telephone. Your personal presence, however, can sometimes make all the difference.

Desire Martin of Ithaca, N.Y., was having trouble getting her insurance company to pay for a doctor's visit that the insurer maintained was for a pre-existing condition. After wending her way through the company's bureaucracy, she realized a mistake had been made about the date of the visit. To collect her claim, she just needed a note from her doctor.

"But when I called his office, they said they were too busy, and told me to have the insurance company call them," she explains. "I knew the insurer's representative would never call, so I decided to drive to the doctor's office and ask in person."

Martin introduced herself to receptionist who had originally fielded her call; then she politely repeated her request. "It was as if I were seven-foot-one instead of five-foot-one. The receptionist actually typed the letter while I waited."

Stay Cool. Being nasty will mark you as a crank, not a reasonable person who's been wronged. A demonstration of angry only triggers the fight-or-flight response in other people, and neither response will help you. As Jan Schwoyer learned when talking with the assistant principal. "It's the person who gets emotional first who loses."

The best gambit is to say you have a problem and need help to solve it. This gentle approach is likely to disarm your opponent; when someone humbly asks for help, most people do what they can.

In dealing with an auto mechanic or a plumber, for example, try a friendly, respectful approach when a repair doesn't work. "Don't accuse him of not doing the job right," advises John E. Novak, a general contractor from Edgartown, Mass. "Instead, say that you still have the problem and need his help again."

In situations where you think you've been overcharged, says lawyer Rick Fellberbaum of Boca Raton, Fla., ask for a detailed breakdown of the bill. "Start by saying you're perplexed, since the bill doesn't match what you were told the job should cost. By asking for clarification, you give the person an opportunity to save face if there's been an overcharge."

Of course if honey alone doesn't work, adding a bit of vinegar might. But rather than insulting, point out what will happen if you don't get results. For instance, saying you've been a regular customer for years caries the implied threat that you might not be one in the future.

Being tactful is just as important when dealing with rude strangers - often the most vexing situations of all because people are reluctant to have public confrontations. For example, "If someone cuts ahead of you in line, calms say, 'I believe these people were next, then us,'" suggests Marilyn Puder-York, a clinical psychologist in New York City. Being nice but speaking up will usually shame the offender into submission.

Work Your Way Up. Whenever you have a problem, resist the temptation to start at the top. If you call the company president right away, you'll probably be outed to the vice president in charge of nut cases. If you work your way up to the president, though, you'll be seen as dogged and respectful. And you're likely to get what you want.

People can't do what beyond their control, however. If a clerk is obstinate and unresponsive, thank her for her time, say you know she's done all she could (even if she hasn't) and ask to speak to "your supervisor in customer service." President until you get to someone who has the power to change decisions.

Similarly, If your child is having trouble in school and his teacher is hostile, resist the impulse to speak immediately with an administrator. By going over the teacher's head, you put the administrator in the position of having to defend a faculty member.

Instead speak with the teacher in private. Don't present yourself as an adversary but as a concerned parent who wants to share information and help solve the problem. If this courteous approach doesn't work, then you're within your rights to call a department head, the principal or, if necessary, the district superintendent.

Pick Worthwhile Fights. Some people spend endless hours - and dollars - complaining about the most minor matters. For them it's the principle that counts. But most of us need to be selective about our spats. A financial complaints is worth making only if the possible gain outweighs the time and money spent. On other disputes there should be some clear-cut potential benefit.

"Ask yourself whether you're upset about this particular issue or really angry about something else," advises Amy Miller, a clinical psychologist in New York. "If its the latter, you won't get the results you're looking for, and you'll end up even more frustrated and angry."

If it's just a matter of venting, take a tip from Jody Rein of Denver, who has a drawerful of complaint letters never sent. "Just putting my anger down on paper is usually enough." she says, "especially in situations where I probably don't stand a chance."

Remember, the secret to dealing with the inevitable nuisances of life is to first pick your fights, and then use these strategies to frame your complaints in a way that avoids antagonism - and gets results.