During the past ten or fifteen years a great deal of attention has been given to "telling it like it is," or "letting
 it all hang out."
过去这十或十五年，很多人的注意都是在于「实话实说」，也就是「把所有的都说出来。
My impression is that this overzealous devotion to speaking one's mind has more often led to hurt feelings and
 ruined relationships than to great joy and fulfillment.
」我的感觉是这种过度热心喜爱说出心中的话，往往会导致感情的伤害和关系的破坏，而不会导致快乐和成就感。
I think we generally agree that never expressing real feelings and repressing all less-than-lovely thoughts about
 each other hardly leads to constructive communication.
我想我们一般人都同意，从未表示真正的感情和彼此抑制一切令人不愉快的想法是很难产生有建设性的沟通的。
It's a great relief to allow ourselves the luxury of acknowledging our human frailties and pursuing more honest
 relationships with others.
让自己享受承认人类弱点和追求更多与人的诚实关系的快乐，是一大慰藉。
But we need to strike a balance between telling it all and telling nothing.
但是我们必须在全部说出和什么也不说之间找到中庸之道。
Recently I received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty-five-year-old son to
 attend a weekend marathon with him.
最近我收到一位母亲的一封信，她被感到苦恼的廿五岁大的儿子说服去和他一起参加某一次周末的马拉松式长谈。
Under pressure from the group, her defenses collapsed and she heard herself telling her son for the first time
 that he had been an accident -- that she hadn't been planning to have a child.
在群众的压力下，她的防卫崩溃了，而且她第一次听到她告诉她的儿子说他是意外得来的 -- 说她一直都没有计划要有孩子。
He in turn told her that he couldn't recall a single day in his childhood that he'd been happy.
他随着告诉她说，他想不起来他儿童时代曾经有一天是快乐的。
"At that time," this woman wrote, "it seemed helpful.
「那时后，」这位女士写着，「事情似乎有所帮助。
We cried and we made up; I thought telling the truth had been good for us.
我们哭叫，然后我们和好；我以为说实话曾经对我们有益处。
But the trouble is, it wasn't the whole truth.
但是问题是，那不是整个事实。
By the time Tommy was born I did want him, and at times he was happy.
等到汤米出生时，我的确需要他，而他有时候是快乐的。
Ever since that day, we've both been haunted by some terrible feelings we shared."
自从那天起，我们两个人的心头都萦绕着我们所共有的一些可怕的感情。」