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Are You Normal or Nuts?

作者:stephen    文章来源:方向标英语网    点击数:    更新时间:2010-5-6 【我来说两句

 

I talk to myself, about myself, in the third person, as if there's a part of me observing myself, like, She is going to the store. I don't do it all the time and never out loud, just in my head. It's not a new problem, but lately I've been noticing it more. Am I nuts?

You join some esteemed company: Charles de Gaulle, Bob Dole, and rapper Flavor Flav have frequently referred to themselves in the third person (and they've done it aloud). Why? New York psychologist Pelusi says that one way people learn things is by rehearsing a scenario in their heads. Most of us do this in a visual way: picturing ourselves at a new job or having a conversation with someone we need to impress. You just happen to do it verbally, as do many novelists and poets. "If you can vicariously experience what it would be like to do something and the effects it might have," says Pelusi, "it's a way of learning without actual trial and error."

All that muttering makes you crazy like a fox, in other words. So feel free to tell yourself, She wrote in to the experts at Reader's Digest, and they told her she was perfectly fine.

I'm the mother of two children. To my chagrin, I have always preferred my son over my daughter. I try to hide it, but I can't help it. This has been the case since they were small, but now they are teens, and I am sure they know. Is this normal?

It's not unheard-of for a parent to prefer one child, says Susan Bartell, PsyD, a psychologist in private practice in Port Washington, New York. More often, a parent is partial to one child for a bit, then rotates to another, in an ongoing cycle. "It's not quite as common where they'll consistently prefer one, but sometimes it happens, especially if you have a very challenging child," she says. "Or your son may be easier because he's not coming at you with all the 'I hate you' stuff that a daughter may."

Bartell, who specializes in relationships between mothers and daughters, adds, "Above and beyond any relationship, including marriage, I think the mother-daughter connection is the most complicated. Moms instill all their wishes for themselves in their daughters, and all the complications they had in their own relationships with their mothers, they dump into their relationships with their daughters."

Whatever the situation with your daughter, here's the thing: Both of your kids have probably known for a long time that you prefer your son. And down the line, says Bartell, this will damage your relationship with them and their relationship with each other. "Get professional help," she says, "or this will get worse and worse."

There have been lots of layoffs at my company, which has increased my workload (and stress load). All I want to do when I get home is turn on the TV. My wife thinks I should talk to a therapist, but I tell her I just need to recharge. Who's right?

We have to side with your wife here. Because men are more likely to ignore it (and resist getting help), depression can take the form of irritability, workaholism, risk-taking behavior (such as drinking too much or driving too fast), or withdrawal, which can manifest itself as spending all your time with your best friend, the television.

On the other hand, you really could just be stressed-out, in which case--well, you're still wrong. Sorry, but studies suggest that watching too much TV can worsen mood and increase stress levels. Enjoy a favorite show, even two. After that, says Beverly E. Thorn, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Alabama, it's time to step away from the tube and rejoin your wife. "A 30-minute walk together in the evening would be good for your stress level, your physical health, and your relationship," she says.

 

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