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Facebook Ruins Your Relationship

作者:stephen    文章来源:方向标英语网    点击数:    更新时间:2010-5-7 【我来说两句

I doubt most of you need anyone telling you Facebook may be ruining your relationship, considering it is most likely a reality you yourself are living. But, in the event that right now it all seems like one, enormous mess of awfulness too powerful to approach, destroy and rework, here's a breakdown, complete with labels, scenarios and love lessons, in hopes that you can tackle this virtual monstrosity and take it apart, piece by terrorizing piece.

#1 Your Relationship Status

Here's an immediate source of controversy contributing to the difficulty of early dating. Ever been here? You like a girl, she likes you. You date, you share a bed, you spend some time together, everything's going well and splendid. Then, oh no, she asks. "Are we like… facebook relationship status 'together?" You react poorly, (i.e. you don't change your profile settings) and suddenly, just like that, it's over. Well, friends, that's because to modern women, your facebook relationship status is the equivalent of a high school promise ring. It's a public announcement that you've picked someone to stand by. Problem being? You probably don't want to publicly announce anything of the sort. A good way to avoid this, is by deleting this setting from your profile all together and making some righteous speech to her about how you are a private person and feel it your right to remain secretive even in a "perversely invasive technological age." Good luck.

#2 Unfortunate Old Photos

If she's your facebook friend, she already knows too much. She's seen you two years ago when you had that stupid haircut, five years ago before you killed off your acne, last week when you got too wasted to stand upright. If there's flaws in your behavior (and let's be honest, hopefully there are or else you're certainly not human), she's already seen them. For this reason, be fickle about being tagged in photos. Untag wisely. It just may save you from some truly considerable trauma.

#3 Tagging Her Offensively

You know how sometimes when a woman asks you if she looks good and you reply, saying something you think is positive but actually provokes wailing sobs and fuming screams from her?  This is like that type of miscommunication. A photo that you may completely harmless, may make her cringe, cry or call it quits on you. So instead of being presumptuous, just let her know you uploaded some photos and she can feel free to tag them herself. (NOTE: Do NOT only tag yourself and not tag her. She will definitely think you are trying to hide her. For more on this - read below)

#4 Lack of Online Affection

You may just be one of those sensible lads who doesn't like to constantly post on people's profiles. But, if you're dating a lady who is and you're trying to follow preliminary dating protocol, you better get hip to it. Girls like this eagerly await the day their newest flame will find the chance to post some witty comment to their profile. When you don't, they think you're either too lazy to care or trying to hide them from your internet friends. An ideal excuse: "To be honest with you, when I really like someone, I don't like to interact with them online that much. I think it cheapens the sincerity of our connection, don't you? It's so impersonal.

 

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