Your Missing Piece Could Be Anyone
Many psychologists, including Dr. Grey, believe that soul mates aren’t something people find, they’re something people become. After that initial giddy excitement of a relationship wears off, couples who work together to solve their individual and collective problems are able to deepen their emotional bond, overcoming any challenges that come their way. That kind of shared experience can make a couple feel like soul mates, whether they’ve been together for two years or twenty. “You don’t just meet a soulmate and live happily ever after,” Dr. Grey writes. “I have observed that real-world soulmates become that—by growing together in certain ways and working through challenges successfully.” Those who claim to experience love at first sight may be potential soul mates, but it isn’t until they’ve really worked to forge a life together that they can become true confidants.

The idea of soul mates shouldn’t be limited to romantic relationships; who would argue that an unmarried person isn’t entitled to have a soul mate of his or her own? It’s not even realistic to think of soul mates as a one-per-person proposition. A person can have many soul mates, whether they’re friends, lovers, or relatives. Becoming a soul mate is about establishing a deep emotional connection, no matter whom it’s with. In our lives, we often meet people with whom we have an instant bond, and whether it’s a romantic or a platonic relationship, once you’ve weathered life’s storms together, who’s to say you can’t call each other “soul mate”? 
Perhaps one of the most cynical things about the idea of soul mates is assuming that there’s only one person for everyone in the world, and that people who don’t find theirs are doomed to be romantically unfulfilled. With the right care and commitment, any loving couple can turn their relationship into the kind of soul-mate partnership they dream about. Those who constantly turn down prospective romantic partners because they’re not “the one” might find themselves holding out for a hero who will never come.

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