was fuil of a word that I'd have spanked her for if she'd said it aloud. Swearing goes against my sensibilities. It's mental laziness. If people aren't allowed to swear they use their brains to find a better word."

Do you think it's just a matter of convention or do you think there's a deeper moral objection to swearing?

"I think it' s not done. It' s taboo in nice society. We' ve been taught not to swear, and I think well-brought-up people should avoid it. If I ever hear a woman use "s-h-i-t" I think a lot less of her." (Margaret, 43, American)

5. Some Hard-working Dads Miss Seeing Their Kids Grow up

Dear Ann Landers: A number of my friends work so many hours that they rarely see their children. When they finally make the time,they discover that their children are grown up and have no time for them.

I wrote the following piece and you are welcome to share it with your readers if you think it's good enough. Sign me-Lonely, Anywhere, U.S.A.

Dear Lonely: It's excellent. You've zeroed in on one of the principal problems of parenthood in the ,80s. Thanks for tossing it my way.

Where Did the Years Go?

I remember talking to my friend a number of years ago about our children. Mine were 5 and 7 then, just the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I wished that I could have spent more time with my kids but I was too busy working. After all, I wanted to give them all the things I never had when I was growing up.

I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Unfortunately, most days I came home so late that I was only able to kiss them good night after they had gone to sleep.

It is amazing how fast kids grow. Before I knew it, they were 9 and 11. I missed seeing them in school plays. Everyone said they were terrific, but the plays always seemed to go on when I was traveling for business or tied up in a special conference. The kids never complained, but I could see the disappointment in their eyes.

I kept promising that I would have more time "next year? But the higher up the corporate ladder I climbed, the less time there seemed to be.

Suddenly they were no longer 9 and 11. They were 14 and 16. Teenagers. I didn't see my daughter the night she went out on her first date or my son's championship basketball game. Mom made excuses and I managed to telephone and talk to them before they left the house. I could hear the disappointment in their voices, but I explained as best I could.

Don't ask where the years have gone. Those little kids are 19 and 21 now and in college. I can't believe it. My job is less demanding and I finally

have time for them. But they have their own interests and there is no time for me. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little hurt.

It seems like yesterday that they were 5 and 7. I'd give anything to live those years over. You can bet your life I'd do it differently. But they are gone now, and so is my chance to be a real dad.

6. Parents Go back to School to Teach Children Better

Having abandoned cl.asses for more than 10 years, many citizens in Beijing have returned to school only because they have become parents.

They seek help to tackle a thorny problem: the education of their "only child". Some people call these children the "little emperors of China" .

"Many parents, either doting on their children or behaving badly towards hem, know little ab

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