According to Shen, he and his wife also had different ways to teach their children. "I did not like the way she treated our children: spoiling them and then beating them if they did not study well or listen to her.
    "But whenever I come across contradictions with my wife in daily life," Shen explained, "I like to recall those days of hardship we shared together, and this has become a spiritual support to us. "

    Shen is a typical example among the middle-aged people in China , an official
of the Changsha City Radio said.
    The radio has opened a special programme to help middle-aged couples deepen their love by reviewing the past and exchanging experiences. The programme has become popular with listeners and has received hundreds of letters from people from all walks of life.

    He Yingcai, a judge of the Hunan Provincial Higher People's Court, said middle-aged couples account for one third of those married in the province. Traditionally, the marriage of young people was arranged by their parents and couples paid more attention to each other's family background and political affiliation than their own feelings.
    As a result, many couples have no feelings for each other, though they have been married for years.

    According to statistics, about one quarter of the 27, 000 couples divorced last year were middle-aged.
    Rong Xiuqin, an official of the Hunan Provincial Women's Federation,said although the divorce rate among middle-aged people is lower than among people of other ages, this does not mean that their family lives are harmonious. For the sake of their children, many people try to make the best of it.

    "It is our duty to.help them form harmonious families because social stability depends on the stability of families," she said.
    Tang Xiying, a sociologist specializing in marriage and women, noted that Chinese families may not be.formed on the basis of feelings, but feelings for each other are the key to stabilizing a family.

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