Watching the Oscars with a roomful of chatty broads, the conversation eventually turned to Jennifer Aniston. For some reason, it ALWAYS does. “How is she still single? She is so beautiful and seems so nice. How doesn’t she have a nice guy?” Blech.

Jennifer Aniston’s love life gets more mainstream press than South Korea’s nuclear testing except Korea’s bombs don’t explode out in the open quite like Jen’s love life tends to do. She is allegedly dating a new guy every week and gets pregnant every other (if you believe some tabloids.) It’s like everyone in the world wants her married and knocked up.

It’s Jen’s fault her relationships don’t work. Unfortunately, there is little she can do to change her luck in dating. Here are five reasons Aniston is still single:

She’s loaded

Jen is filthy rich. She has more scratch than her “Marley and Me” costar when his flea collar stops working. Not Owen, the dog. Her money and power intimidates men.

Her ex’s

She has dated the top of the A-list heap. Imagine dating a woman who could whip out vacation pictures of herself and Brad Pitt. Any suitor would consider himself a step down.

She’s getting old

Sure she looks fantastic right now but Jen is suddenly on the wrong side of forty-years-old. Her deal with the Devil is sure to expire soon. Today she is Aniston tomorrow is is asphalt. Bad road if you catch my drift.

She’s too famous

If you date Aniston, the entire relationship will be on the cover of US Weekly every week. The guy will be praying for a Charlie Sheen meltdown (again) or a Teen Mom to do something dumb just to get his face off the magazine covers.

She isn’t really Rachel

It’s kind of like that 5 minute marriage between Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger. Chesney admitted he was really in love with the chick he saw in the movies. Same thing with Aniston. Guys probably assume Aniston is very much like her old Friends character. Also, guys fell in love with Rachel. Jennifer isn’t that person everyone sees on TV.

She caught “the John Mayer”

According to the CDC, the guy is more contagious than Swine Flu. Guys don’t want to be Mayer’s sloppy second/third/anything.