7.例证夸张

For example， when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer， the doctor cannot tell the truth， for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death.

虽然善意的谎言是必要的，但是其功效显然没有这么大。

8.成分多余

According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows that there is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs.

该句中的shows that是多余的成分。

9. 词性混乱

However， the questions such as “Have you ever regretted marrying your husband” may be very privacy and embarrassingly.

句子中的privacy和embarrassingly应该改成private和embarrassing。

10. 文体不正式

All of the players gonna to tell the truth in attempt to win $500，000.

——gonna过于口语化。

In addition， I think people shoudn’t always tell the truth to others.

——在托福作文中尽量不要用缩写，这里应该写should not。

11.两个独立句子间无连词

Another point is that young people are more aggressive and energetic， and it’s suitable for them to choose such jobs， which will provide them with rich experience that is essential for their future success.

这个错误犯的频率相当高，一定要注意。

12.时态错误

托福大作文一般使用现在时态，除了拿过去事件作为例子用过去时态。

Some people claimed that news media has enormous influence and is a detrimental creation.

—— claimed应该改为claim

13. 不知所云

They also mention that in modern society there are too much entertainment bothering them as the huge gap lying between them and the success.

这句话完全不知道是什么意思，逻辑混乱，这是中国学生经常犯的错误。

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