6. What are we really fighting about?
Small tiffs can mask a larger issue, especially if they are frequent and revolve around the same few things. Instead of fighting each and every incident to the bitter end, work with your partner to determine what could be causing the trend. This phrase can be followed up by:

7. This isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem.
This statement can change the fight dynamic from you vs. him to you and him vs. this problem.

8. Let’s take a break for a few minutes.
How many hurtful things have you said when emotions trumped common consideration? If you feel the urge to say something just to inflict pain, the best preventative is to call a time-out. Separate, clear your thoughts and maybe sleep on it. You’d be surprised how fast the anger can pass.

9. I love you.
Nothing throws off an argument better than this ultimate proclamation of affection. As hard as it can be to say during a verbal smackdown, it is an immediate reminder of the basic bonds you share.

On a final note, don’t forget to reciprocate your partner’s own attempts to cool the argument down. The key to mastering this technique is to think emphatically.

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